


In Death, Sacrifice

by deansbrave



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Cousland did the ultimate sacrifice, F/M, and this takes place during Here Lies The Abyss, thats all you need to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 14:32:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4183422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansbrave/pseuds/deansbrave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had spent so much time hating her.  He hated her for the way she betrayed him.  He hated her for the way she left him.  He hated her for the way she tricked him.  Most of all he hated her for the way she loved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Death, Sacrifice

He had spent so much time hating her.  He hated her for the way she betrayed him.  He hated her for the way she left him.  He hated her for the way she tricked him.  Most of all he hated her for the way she loved him.

 

All those years after the Blight after she had sunk her family sword into the head of the Archdemon he still hurt.  And he still hated her.  Just another person who had abandoned him after pretending to care about him.  He shouldn’t have been surprised.

 

And yet he surprised himself when before he had gone to meet Hawke in Crestwood that he found himself in Highever.  He had been intending to visit the memorial he had put up for Duncan, but instead one in the center of the city had caught his eye.  It was modestly sized statue made in her image.  Alistair wanted to laugh, of course it wouldn’t be a large thing like the one Anora had commissioned in Amranthine.  Fergus Cousland knew his sister, knew that she wouldn’t have wanted her death to be a made a big deal out of.

 

She was just doing her duty.

 

And the anger bit more hotly than ever as he stalked over to the statue.  And when he looked at face, lips set in a kind smile, eyes trained on him his resolve broke.

 

“I’ve spent the last ten years hating you,” He spoke quietly, “I have been so angry that you left me that day.  Maker damn you woman, why did you leave me?” He hissed.  His response was that kind stone smile.

 

“I loved you, I still love you.  You were my everything, and then you left; what was I supposed to do without you? Did you expect me to move on? To find someone else?”

 

He felt like her eyes were pitying him, and he hated it.  “I couldn’t do it, I could never do it.  You were it for me, and then you left me!”

 

He shook his head, “I feel so stupid, talking to this statue.  I know it’s not you but… Maker, I had almost forgotten what you looked like.”

 

He sat down on the ground, looking up at her.  Tracing her face in his memory, had her smile always been that kind? He remembered it more crooked, more like a smirk.  Like there was always some joke he wasn’t in on, and maybe there had been.  “I have been convincing myself for so long that I hated you, but now sitting here looking at you one last time? Maker, but do I miss you.  I miss your smile, I miss your laugh...I can’t even remember what you sound like now, and all I want is to hear your voice one last time.”

 

He wiped at his eyes; he wouldn’t cry over her anymore.  He had spent enough time doing that.  “I’m off to help the Inquisition… Warden-Commander Clarel has labeled me a traitor, and I can’t stay here longer.  They need me, and...I’ll do whatever it takes to make what’s happening to the wardens stop.”

 

But he didn’t move, he stayed there a while longer, committing her face to his memory; trying to remember if that was how she had looked.  He remembered the long, flowing, red hair.  And her eyes had been blue.  Or was it green? 

 

* * *

 

“Go Inquisitor.”

 

“Alistair, no.” Inquisitor Trevelyan shook her head, her face contorted with indecision.

 

“It’s me, or Hawke… and I’ve nothing left in that world. They don’t need me there anymore.”

 

“The Grey Wardens need you!” Hawke snapped, “You’re the senior Warden; who will lead them otherwise?”

 

“I’m sure you’ll both think of something.” Alistair smiled, and before either woman could protest he ran off, sword, and shield drawn.

 

“Alistair!” Trevelyan yelled as Hawke pulled her through the portal.

 

Alistair bashed a tentacle as it reached for him.  He began to mutter the Grey Warden motto under his breath.

 

“In Peace” He swung his sword, hacking off a tentacle.  In his mind her face flashed.

 

“Vigilance.” Her smile warmed his heart.

 

“In War.” Cousland was swinging her sword, followed by a twist of her body as she brought down her dagger.  Alistair remembered never having seen a woman fight as viciously as her.  

 

“Victory.” He remembered watching her sink her sword into that traitor Howe.  He remember seeing her body relax as she fell against him, crying her relief over finally having her vengeance.

 

“In Death.” And as he sunk his sword into the underbelly of the giant spider he saw her running towards the Archdemon.  It was like he was back at the top of Fort Drakon as Cousland sunk her blade into the dragons head.

 

“Sacrifice.” He remembered cradling her body in his arms.  Screaming as Wynne tried to pull him away.  He didn’t want to look away from her, he couldn’t.

 

And as Alistair finally pulled his blade free stumbling backwards from the demon, he realized he’d done little more than make it angry.  The demon finally saw its oppritunity, and Alistair was too slow as it impaled him with one of its pointed legs, holding him down on the ground.

 

And he thought then, that he was dying much like the way his love had.  He died doing his duty, helping to make the world a better place.  And that wasn’t so bad.

 

When he closed his eyes for the final time, he thought he could see an open field.  Grass, and branches swaying in the breeze.  He thought he caught a glimpse of red hair in the distance, and eyes the color of emralds.

 

_That’s right.  They had been green._

 

And it was like a weight had lifted off his chest as his final breath left his lungs.  He was going home.

 

 


End file.
